How To Handle Being Orphaned as Young Adult

How To Handle Being Orphaned as Young Adult

Sharing your grief with someone helps to reduce the stress and pain. Being an orphan is the worst feeling ever believe me i have been there. 

How To Handle Being Orphaned as Young Adult

It feels like the world is crashing on you but, you need to learn to replace your pain with power. I was at a point where i felt all was lost but, i found my way back and struggled to fit in with others.

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Hence I was inspired to write a sort of continuation to that post. And for those of you who are lucky to still have your parents around, I hope you take comfort in this post so that when the day comes where you’ll lose your parents, you’ll be slightly more emotionally ready.

1) Problem: You WILL Feel Left Out

I’m not gonna lie.

Father’s Day stings. Mother’s Day stings. Birthdays, Thanksgiving, and pretty much any holiday where the rest of your friends are bonding with their parents suck and you’ll probably feel left out. It’s not just limited to holidays. 

Every time you’ll hear a friend of yours talk about or complain about something their parents did, you’ll feel a little tug in your heart.

Solution: Use Your Friends (and Find Some High-Quality Friends)

One of the positive things that result in losing your parents is that you begin to appreciate your core group of friends so much more. I don’t have much family close by, so I surround myself with the most awesome friends around.

Cue one of my adopted families…

I’m honest with people about my past, so I know the people who chose to remain friends are top-notch people. They invite me over on holidays, they to lend their support in times I would’ve turned to my parents, and some of them even tell me the same dumb lie every parent tells their kid when their kids are in doubt,

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“You are such a smart/pretty/amazing/talented person!”

And just like all kids, I don’t believe them for a second!

2) Problem: Finances/Taxes/Estate and Other Boring But Kinds Scary Realities

Unless you’re super fortunate to have parents that had carefully planned their estate with proper distributions instructions, this part can get messy. 

Your parents will probably have some or even a lot of unpaid debt, if they were sick like mine were, you’ll keep getting hospital bills until even after YOU die, and you’ll also suddenly have a bunch of stuff that you never had before (like a house, in my case). 

You’ll get an express crash course in finances and you’ll probably come to the conclusion that you hate money.

You’re parent’s bank account will be frozen, you’ll probably be freaked out about what to do about their debt, and if you’re me, you’ll have to get used to visiting Home Depot way more often than you ever wanted.

Solution: Pray to your God, Ask, Google, and Deal With It

First of all, let me just clarify: Your parents’ debt WILL NOT affect your credit.

Even if your parents owned millions of dollars, it will not make a dent in your credit score. What IT does affect is your parent’s estate.

Take my situation, for example. My dad owned the house I currently live in. If I wanted to sell it one day (without ever paying off my dad’s debt), I’d have to use the money from the sale of the house to pay off assholes creditors.

BUT, keep in mind that you can always negotiate with credit card companies. A lot of them will settle so you’d only have to pay a reduced amount of what is actually owed. 

They rather get SOME money than nothing. Don’t be afraid to negotiate and when you can, pay off the debts so they aren’t hanging over your shoulder like the devil in those cartoons. If you’re ever not sure about something, don’t be afraid to ask, Google, and research.

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3) Problem: You’re Sad

Yes, its sad. You’ll probably long to see and talk to them and it will come in waves throughout your life. 

Some days you’ll forget they’re gone, and some days you’ll wish you had a De Lorain and go back in time to be able to hug them.

Solution: Be Sad (or Happy, or Confused, or Whatever…)

The worst thing you can do is deny your emotions. Don’t try to be tough, don’t bullshit anyone, just feel what you’re feeling. I tried to be tough but, believe me i cry myself to sleep most nights.

Don’t be afraid to be happy either. In the past few months, I’ve had moments where I’ve laughed so harder than I ever did when my parents were alive. I’m not sure I was ever capable to laugh so hard before. 

Maybe because I was always worried about them and their health. Now, the weight of their struggles with cancer are lifted that I can finally laugh and not be numb to whatever feelings I’m having.

For the first time, I’m really appreciating being alive. I’m thankful for being here, capable of sharing my experiences with whoever reads this, and I’m thankful to have had such amazing parents to begin with.

The most important thing is not forsaking your God because he won't forsake you either. Ypu need him more than anything at any point in your life.

If you’ve lost your parents, what are problems you’ve encountered? How have you solved or tried to solve them?

If you haven’t lost your parents, what do you fear most? COMMENT BELOW